The Effects of Coffee:

I thought that by now I would have posted a blog about coffee, considering my name and all. I'm sure I meant to, but inadvertently got distracted by something shiny. I blame my (maybe psychosomatic?) A.D.D...or the large amount of shiny things in the world.



There are many things that can happen in the event of consuming too much coffee. The effects can either be dire or magnificent. In fact, they should let me write a disclaimer for it like they do on cigarettes or alcohol:

ANYWAY, here's what happens to me (and might happen to you too).

Scenario #1: Magnificent (may include running, jumping, and horrendously long strings of words).
By my secondthirdfourth cup of coffee, I am carelessly bouncing without a care in the world. Words are slipping out of my mouth like gigantic snakes and slithering into the air without much meaning (occasionally in story form). It's either very entertaining, or very annoying, depending on the person.

Example:


I essentially act like some horrible drug addict with entirely too much energy and words in my head.

So, a list of things I normally do when extremely hyper:
1. Sing ONE line from a song occasionally throughout the "high." It gets annoying, even to myself.
2. Lay down and stick my legs in the air. Why? I'm not really sure.
3. Run around. In circles, from wall to wall, into other rooms, around tables. Everywhere, so long as there's room to do so.
4. Talk incessantly. About everything and anything that pops into my constantly spinning brain.
5. Sleep for maybe 2-3 hours, wake up still energized.



Now on to scenario #2: Horrible (may include irritability, complete immobility, and a tendency to groan against your will).
Eventually, one of two things will happen. You will either crash with a insatiable vengeance like that of the Holocaust or you will ingest so much caffeine that it actually has the reverse effect. The later is very rare, or so it seems.

List of things that happen when NOT hyper:
1. Lay flat and complain about lack of hyperactivity.
2. Get annoyed at the smallest of things.
3. Murmur mean/sarcastic things under my breath about how idiotic the population of the world is and/or how much I hate everything.
4. Have the inability to write about how much life "sucks."
5. Search for a way to regain hyperactivity.



I sound like a junkie, but really...I'm just generally a happy-go-lucky person. So in the event that I don't feel energy surging through my body or my brain seems to be malfunctioning with laziness, I get concerned...and to say the least, extremely agitated.

Just to give you a little bit of insight, I'm writing this after drinking 48oz of coffee mixed with like 4 shots of espresso.