For some reason, the socially awkward human race can’t find a balance in anything. Either we love or detest something, rarely pay it mind or clench it like a vice. There is no shade of gray, we rely solely on black and white. We don’t mean to, but when our brain decides it likes (or dislikes) something, it makes you involuntarily do stuff.
1. Silence
We either try to fill every "awkward" silence with an even more awkward conversation, or we grasp this silence and never let it go. Either way, it tends to leave this huge, heavy blanket of Awkward over the room.
If we're talking in extremes, then two types of people prevail: The people that babble, talking until their little lungs just won't push any more words out (then they promptly take another breath and begin again). Then there are people that seem like their mute or a mime. A nod of the head or a flick of the hand will suffice, no words for me please. It's rare that, within a group of people, there will ever be an even amount of conversation from every person.
There's at least one attention whore who never shuts up, though we all want them to. They feel the need to surround every possible moment of silence with their booming voice and pointless stories. They, of course, are just trying to make everything comfortable, right? No harm done...
Unless you're stuck listening to Insane College Party Story #124 or them trying to "ease tension" with Your Mom jokes. Yeah, those are rarely funny. Or they may be trying to fit in with the, “I’m so much cooler than you listen to me right now I’m important I promise!” tactic. Which is also generally frowned upon.
Then there's always the person you never hear a peep from. They sit like a statue, rarely saying a word. Either because they can enjoy the glory of occasional silence or they're too terrified to say anything (for fear that it'll be wrong). Though you get nervous since they never talk. I mean, what if they're planning how to gain mind control of the entire population, thus taking over the world, thus becoming the next Hitler, then we're all screwed? Yeah, next time you see someone not talking, just know that they're planning to obliterate you from the planet. Worst case scenario, of course...
2. Seriousness
There is a time and place for everything. There are occasions for both lighthearted conversations and profound discussions, but these occasions do not happen 24/7. You’ve met the people that rarely change their mentality, and find it necessary to tell you every detail of their every thought. Then there are the people who run away from these conversations like the plague.
On one side, there’s Mr. Philosophy. Even when you’re just trying to have fun, this person is filling your ears with mindless babble that he thinks is crucial to your life. These things could range from the creation of earth to the complexity of religion to the workings of their own brain. While these are perfectly acceptable topics, they aren’t exactly warranted when you’re on a rollercoaster or in a public restroom.
On the other side, there’s Mr. Hilarity. No matter what you say, they combat it with a joke, a funny story, or change the subject to something they find amusing. While this could be useful, say you’ve had a bad day. This guy can jump in and save the day! Sort of like Superman. It can also take turn for the worst. So if you’re at a funeral, know that it’s best to steer clear of too many jokes.
3. Confrontation
A large amount of people would shy away from confrontation if at all possible. Preventing a possibly horrible situation is best done by completely avoiding it, which is probably not the best advice, but it (generally) gets the job done.
It’s most commonly used when avoiding hurting someone’s feelings (“Really, this gift it great!”). Or avoiding past acquaintances (“It’s really awesome to see you, but I have to go…-insert fake place here-,” as you run far, far away). Or in the event of a break up (with the ever popular, “It’s not you, it’s me”).
The rest almost seem to seek out confrontation with no fear whatsoever. Like a daredevil, only replace the stunts with people and bad tempers.
But they aren’t usually violent interactions (except when you’re in a bar and a drunk guy spills his drink on you and hits on your woman). There’s also the instance when you can read a storm of words in their eyes before you’ve even done anything wrong. If you manage to step an inch out of line, they are completely ready to take you down with one (vicious, poised, and well spoken) argument.
One way you can tell these people apart is how they act with moody cashiers. One who doesn’t want to cause a fuss would take their incompetence in stride, being level headed through the entire encounter…then getting really pissy once out of earshot. “Did you hear how [s]he talked to me? The nerve…”
Whereas people who don’t mind putting a douche in his place will tell them (right then and there) that the stupid cashier is wrong, I am right, and douchey cashier needs to shut up, give me my change, and I’ll never come here again.
All in all, they sort of balance each other out. The pacifists dilute the angry folks, and the confrontational guys end up fighting each other instead of the person cowering in the corner.
haha, I think I keep a foot planted pretty well on both sides of all three of those fences. And as for being drunk in a bar with someone hits on your woman, there's something damned wrong with you if you don't react violently.
ReplyDeleteI like this though; it's pretty thoroughly accurate.